We had lots of fun this weekend with friends at the lake on Saturday, then at the parade in town today. My incisions are still not totally healed since I keep spitting stitches. It looks so gross will all of the little holes along the incision, but I guess that's just the way it is. I sat on the shore and watched little I play in the water with her goggles and snorkel which was lots of fun. The joy, and ability to live in the moment that children have is wonderful to watch on weekends like this. Very important in my recovery too. They can find joy in the smallest things and I'm trying to take that cue.
The parade today was fun. I sat in the trailer with the Tiny Tigers since I was not able to walk the route. It is so hard for me to sit by and watch everyone else do the things I used to do. I walked the short distance from the end of the parade to the cemetery for the presentations and did my best to stand throughout. I couldn't make it through the whole thing. I slowly and stiffly walked back to the trailer and sat listening and thinking that things could be a lot worse. I saw lots of people drop from the heat, and so many families who have lost so much there to celebrate their loved ones on this day. I'm really stiff and tired, and I'm sure swollen, but I guess things really aren't that bad.
This is such a long process. I have missed 2 testing cycles already from this injury and will miss several more before I am able to return and then learn all the new material. I have watched people test and get their new belts while I sit and watch. We used to joke about Big K being the eternal while belt, but here I am now on the eternal camo belt track. Sigh... I tell myself that this is just a hurdle in the long race of martial arts. I will get through this. I will come back to class. I will work toward my black belt. And on this day, I will be thankful for what I have.